and here we go again

again! really why! when i saw you this afternoon you looked so happy and healthy! i was so proud, but now Ive become so disappointed again. you just got back, now your out again, why do you keep doing this to yourself? your such a good kid at heart.

fuck, it just hit me how much i am going to miss a certain someone when they leave soon. you know when things just randomly hit you and you ......crack? that just happened this second. fml fml fml, I'm so breakable at times


aaalex&sille♥ ;; says:
*it will be okay
honestly,
*i know you,
it will be okay
*steal his clothes
it will be okay!
*and besides
hes not gone yet!
*awex doesnt like to hear that zawas crying,
*zawas to pretty to be crying

this is why i love you :)

Long Way To Happy

Last day of the holidays. Back to school tomorrow, *shoots herself*. i really do not want to go back, this is probably the most Ive resented going back. Ive just had the best holidays and I'm just so over the concept of school, specially since Ive been hanging out with a lot of people who have finished school already. makes me just want to fast forward.

since it would take me days to tell you every awesome moment of the awesome holiday Ive had to use some pictures to show you instead, they do say pictures are worth a thousand words

Tools of Torture

that's exactly what braces are. day three with them on. last night i feel asleep at 12. then at 2am i woke up from pain from my braces, i had a drink some panadol then tried to go back to sleep. but after hours of tossing and turning i knew it wasn't going to happen. before i knew it , it was 6 am. so i just stayed up and when everyone woke up i watched a movie with my cousins and drifted of for a bit in that. I've had about 10 panadols today and its done nothing. i can barley open my mouth is that swollen. i cant drink i cant eat i cant talk. this sucks so much.


who ever invented braces is an absolute arse. who wants to hunt this person down with me?

Ignorance

Worst day in a real long time.

im exhausted. didn't fall asleep until 5am last night.

im frustrated. our first fight, and you were SO immature about it and kept trying to change topic.

im worried/ anxious. im getting my braces on today to, FML

im furious. im still in a cloud of anger, fustration and confusion

the only good thing that's happened today is that i downloaded paramores new single Ignorance. i like it muchly.

Naive

i have been dreading the day my 11 year old sister came asking me detailed questions about all he birds and the bees and today my friends it happened, and quite frankly i found it the funniest thing ever.

she comes in my room with this massive book titled "girl stuff" its basically a big fat book that has sections on bullying, peer pressure, inner beauty all that jazz. there is all so a sex section wicth she decided not to read until tonight. she comes into my room and goes "zaza, how do you say that word?" *points to masturbation* i look and go HAHAHAHAHAHA and shes goes ":( whats so funny!" i look at her and go ahaha it says masturbation *still giggling* and shes like........"what does that mean?" I'm like HAHA I'M NOT ANSWERING THAT! JUST READ IT HAHAH!

i don't know why i found it so funny but just seeing my little sister ask that in such an innocent voice was pure gold.

after she walked out she came back in going..."zara...whats a clit?"

and i BURST out into laughter again and she repeated herself i said AHHAHA ASK YOUR MOTHER! and shes like arg fine!

so i heard her go out ask mum and i was still laughing, then my mum walked in and gave me a death stare for being so immature. ahahaha I'm sorry but it was too funny. besides i didint want to be blamed for stealing her innocence :).

anyway on another topic i would jsut like to say...

maybe he was right. maybe you are lazy. you put in som effort and make a treck for once. because im doing doing it for you every week.....



oh and did i mention my sister all so asked what lub was :)

Something in the way

Today while walking around milsons point i kept thinking, "wow i wish i had her hair", "damn i wish i had her body" or "wow her eyes are beautiful...i envy her". it was really weird. i usually dont think like that. im often a lot more confident then this....was a strange feeling and a bit of a weird day overall. ah well i have a good weekend planned nows. i get to see the bf whoo. oh but Tuesday night with the wife (Meghan) was awesome. specially weirding the fuck out of Brandon ahaha :)

oh and that nirvana docco me and Meghan watched was pretty cool to (Y)

Random Bus Chat

I had quite an interesting conversation with a really nice guy on the bus on the way home from the city today. At just 15 years old the poor guy had been through and is still going through it seemed. It made me open up my eyes a bit. that my previous actions and emotions and situations ive been in haven't been all too terrible. They went good situations i guess but i forgot that someone is all ways worse off. he was a really nice guy....i felt sorry for him. really did. I hope tonight he doesn't do what he told me he was going to do. I all so hope i get a call back, and im trying to remember where ive meet him from before but i just cant.hmmmm

anyway my weekend plans have fizzled. grounded yay love life =.=

oh well. im exhausted anyway. i would've died halfway through the weekend. thank fuck its the holidays tomorrow.

oh and im glad that a certain someone is int mad about Saturday's...events anymore =]