Used and abused

You didn't trust enough, i trusted too much. I'm not perfect, we all screw up, we all make mistakes. i not a sinner but I'm not a saint. I've made mistakes, I've done some stupid things, but it doesn't mean i should have to be punished for them forever. how come the person i have loved more then anyone was the hardest to be with and the messiest ending ever? why must i always fall for someone who is either pathetic or the situation is insanely complicated? why does everything have to be so hard? why must we be criticised for every time we make a mistake or a slip up? no matter how big or small that mistake is? what if you don't even do anything wrong yet people still assume and accuse? why must people do that? why can't people also admit that they are not perfect either?why must we all go through so much pain? why must my heat ache so much? why must i keep getting my heart repeatedly broken? why can't things stay good for a while when they actually do get good?  AM I NOT ALLOWED TO BE HAPPY FOR MORE THEN ONE DAY AT A TIME, must something ALWAYS HAVE TO COME UP! this is why i don't believe in god, and if he exists, he must hate me. life isn't fair, life is fucked.