Drunken Mistake

i feel so stupid right now. i wish it diint happen. that is all............

R.I.P

I still cant believe it, but one of my heroes is dead. that's right, Micheal Jackson. at only 50. i cant believe this, he used to sleep in a special tank that was usually just used to help recovering burn victims, but he slept in one because he wanted to keep his body healthy and once said "If i treat my body right, hopefully ill live to at least 150" yet his life was cut short and died 100 years ahead of his desired age. He was an absolute legend. Sure he was anything but normal with all his scandals but most geniuses are corrupt ant they?



Call him wacko jacko if you wish. his career was ruined by people like you who accused him of being gay and having a weird obsession with children. do you know why he seemed to have a weird obsession with kids? no? well Micheal's dad was an abusive and dominating Man. Micheal had no childhood at would work more hours then most adults did from the age of 5. that's right 5. He said in one of his very few interviews that his childhood was taken from him completely, when he was in rehearsal rooms and saw lughing kids playing at in the park he would cry and cry. he only had his fellow Jackson 5 brothers and two other sisters and they all only had each other. he was an isolated child. Having his first hit at just age 11 he was under stress and the spotlight basically his whole life.



from an early age it was obvious Micheal was the most talented out of the bunch and his father saw this and would abuse him, whip him with belts before he went on stage, teased him about the shape of his nose (hence the many nose jobs) and mistakes during rehearsals were NOT allowed even at his ripe age. he was abused isolated and alone. sure he was a music sensation but at what price? He had no Christmases or Birthdays as a child. just work work work



this explains his strange obsession with kids. He loved his children and showered them with love and gifts, he wants them and others to have a happy childhood he never had. sure the whole molesting charges and the dangling his child over the balcony were not the smartest hings to do but really, how would he know how to treat a child properly when he was never treated right? child abuse is an on going cycle, when you corrupt one person that person continues to corrupt an other.



despite all this he has said that all of his dreams have pretty much come true and is the man behind the most bought record of all time, his album "Thriller". And on the way picked up about 13 Grammies (8 were for Thriller) and was and forever will be the King Of Pop.



He was an amazing entertainer, a fantastic dancer, a dreamer, a genius and his music will always and forever be loved and remembered





Rest In Peace M.J, you will not be forgotten. <3

Dreammaker

I usually never dream, like never, and if i did id usually forget them by the time i woke up...but ive been having many lately and remembering them.

Thursday night i had a dream of all the worst things that could go wrong the morning befor the athletics carnival, thankfully nothing went wrong though, and last night as i was falling asleep in Simon's arms i started to dream that i was back in Disneyland and me and my little sister were holding hands skipping up Main Street Disneyland singing "ive got rhythm, ive got my baby, who could ask for anything more!" and like other old show tune songs. It was SO WEIRD!

I dont like this remembering dreams, i spend the next 5 days trying to figure out what they mean and if they have any warnings in them. *sigh*

On an different note, at the athletics carnival i wenti TWO races this year (even though i skipped and sung Micheal Jackson songs in is honer) but it was the most ive ever contributed. i had green food and everything and my outfit was ace!

GO BRADY!

Oh i all so saw lochie this arvo while i was in the city, was good to see him it had been to long! :)

Screaming ........Hallelujah

"Some how everything's gonna fall right into place. " I really hope those words Paramores lead girl Haley Williams sing are true. I just want everything to fall back in to place. i had a good talk with an awesome red haired friend of mine today. she said , maybe the change of all the guys coming in and all the pressure set on us has affected everyone....just broken the old boundaries and bonds that we used to have. and i simply replied with.........................but i liked the old boundaries.....everything made more sense back then. Someone this year has continuously been making up rumours about me, trying to break a friendship with someone who is a completely different circle of friends from me and the majority of them dont like me. i wish people didint do stuff like that.really.

I mean its not like im un happy with my life...im soo grateful for the friends who havint change. maybe i needed this to see how lucky i am. i dont know. it may just be positive thinking but it gets me through the night.

but yes like i just said, im not entirely un happy im pretty lucky. Ive still have friends that love me, i have a best friend who is practically my sister and i have an awesome boyfriend and my life is moving forward thats for sure.

but i dont think i prepared myself for so much change. i just want to thank the people that are making me smile through it. i love you all deaply.

Attention Attention

may i have all your eyes and ears?



i wouldn't bitch about you in a blog if you told me why you all have been acting differently towards me in the first place .i would ask first but im done with having to confront people about shit like this. Ive been putting up with crap like this for too many years and i dont have the energy and quite frankly have the time to be the strong person i used to be.


this is the reason i took the day off today. to get away from silly high school drama and the rain and be with that one person that can just hold me and it all goes away.... thank you so much for today :)


thank fuck the weekend is here

A-Punk

Today was such a nice day. I love this kind of weather when driving in the car. It was so nice on the drive home from chatswood this afternoon, seeing glimpses of dull yellow sun pour out from gaps in the big grey clouds while listening to Kings of Leon with mum after she had bought me a new jersey, heels and a forever new beanie. whoo. I almost forgot how cool she is and how good her music taste was.

It was a good end to quite a smooth weekend. Things seem to slowly falling back into place. not everything, but a few things. Im thankful for that.

Im also contemplating dying my hair black or a darker brown. It would make my eyes stand out muchyl me thinks =]

Ive been listening to Halo by Bloc Party practically 24/7 this weekend. Addictive Shit (Y)

Shame and Fortune

Parents ruin everything don't they, ruin your plans by not letting you go anywhere and then they make you want to scream when they use the century old excuses like "you'll understand when you have kids". Pretty sure when i have kids ill let them go and see their own boyfriends. mother chuckers.

anyway on a brighter note, Tina's party last night was pretty kick arse, although my feet are killing me from all the dancing in the killer heels, it was so worth it :)
and I'm so glad she played "Not Fair" by Lilly Alen, i had that song stuck in my head alll day yesterday, and got it stuck in everyone elses head, then when it got played everyone was like NO we just got it out of our heads, then i just bounced around singing all the words to everyone, please don't hate me guys, you know it's a totally kick arse song :D

Oh and something else, i wish i didint chicken out of things, ive been taken over by a fear. (stole the part from Lilly Alen =)