I cried again tonight, i cant believe how much this i killing me. i really should avoid watching romantic movies like twilight like i did tonight, that was the stupidest thing i think Ive ever done. i didn't even think that watching a movie all about love would affect me. then i saw his facebook status "I'm loving Finland, i might never leave lol" My head was screaming, where is the dislike button!!!!!!! Then it also started thinking, how dare he make me fall in love with him right before he leaves, how dare he joke about that, how dare he leave me and turn me into the mess i currently am. stupid and harsh thoughts they were, its not his fault i know that but i couldn't stop thinking that for a few minutes. then the waterworks sprang a leak again. I hate this. I'm such a mess, i never thought id act this badly, I'm fine when I'm with friends. but when its late at night and I'm alone, it gets to me soo much. when its late at night and I'm alone I'm craving his company so much, i crave any human contact at all. Ive decided next weekend i am going to arrange a big girly sleepover at my house so I'm never alone, were going to watch comedies and horror movies, NO romances. none whats soever. i think i could do with a night with the girls....
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